Things We Learned
by ncfan
Summary: Things the Men of Gondor learned from the Downfall and the War of the Last Alliance, for better and worse.


I own nothing, and I regret nothing.

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_This document was recently recovered in the Archives of Minas Tirith. While none of the archivists can assign to it an exact date, the identity of the writer is known as Saeldir, a scribe and writer who lived in the final century of the Second Age and the first of the Third, and given the contents of the document, it can with certainty be ascribed to the latter._

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[This document was commissioned by Meneldil, son of Anárion, third King of Gondor, to serve as instruction to the future Kings of the realm. This document was written by Saeldir, first scribe of the King.]

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM THE DOWNFALL:

1. Rebelling against the Valar is fruitless and ineffective. Moreover, it will almost certainly result in the realm being sunken beneath the depths of the sea, so it would be advisable for the future Kings of Gondor to, if not hold the Valar in reverence, to at least refrain from committing open blasphemy against them.

2. Striving for immortality is a fool's errand. We are Men. We are mortal, we were made mortal, and nothing will ever change the fact that we are mortal. We should not seek to find ways to extend our life-spans and instead be grateful that, as Dúnedain, we were given life-spans greater than that of the Men of Middle-Earth to begin with.

3. Forcing a woman to marry a man not of her own choosing without even the slightest trace of consent from her ruins the realm. Never has this been clearer or more literally the case than in the history of Tar-Míriel, otherwise known as Ar-Zimraphel, last of the Queens of Atalantë. Documents written by the Queen have been recovered stating that Ar-Pharazôn (otherwise known as Tar-Calion, last of the Kings of Atalantë) pressed his suit of marriage towards her even in the days of Tar-Palantir (otherwise known as Ar-Inziladûn), and that she was quite explicit in her rejection of him, up to and including public denouncements of her cousin's offers of marriage. It is also known that after the death of Tar-Palantir, Tar-Míriel looked for aid in keeping Ar-Pharazôn for taking her to wife against her will and usurping the throne that was hers by right, and found none. The forced marriage of Tar-Míriel to Ar-Pharazôn is the act that led most directly to the Downfall of Atalantë. Henceforth, it shall be considered unlawful to force a daughter of Gondor into marriage against her will and without her express consent.

3a. It is noted that Ar-Pharazôn, while enamored of Tar-Míriel's renowned beauty, pursued her primarily because she was her father's heir. Therefore, in the future any daughters of the King shall be barred from inheriting the throne of Gondor; also, any daughters of the Steward of Gondor shall be barred from inheriting their father's office.

4. When the title of the King shifts from 'Tar' to 'Ar', this is a failsafe sign that bad things are going to happen. History bears this out. Therefore, henceforth the monarchs of Gondor shall refer to themselves with the Westron title of 'King' so that they do not feel tempted to refer to themselves as 'Ar.'

5. In the future, any and all Maiar who have contact with Gondor should be quite thoroughly vetted before they are allowed the ear of the King or of anyone in high authority in the realm. If by some circumstance they are first determined to be benevolent in nature but later prove to possess malicious intent, they shall be set in bonds, imprisoned within a leaden coffin and thrown from the highest cliff of Anfalas into the sea. Those who threw them shall watch to see if the coffin resurfaces, and if it does, they will retrieve the coffin, break it open and if the Maia by some miracle happens to still be alive, or even if they are not, they will stab the Maia in the heart for good measure.

THINGS WE LEARNED FROM THE LAST ALLIANCE:

1. The future Kings of Gondor should never value an object over the welfare of their realm. It does not matter what that object is, up to and including the crown and sceptre; Valar forbid it be a piece of jewelry, let alone cursed jewelry. Whatever it is, it can be replaced, and in the case of cursed jewelry probably shouldn't be.

2. Avoid all unnecessary dealings with Elves in the future. From inciting jealousy of their immortal lives to getting us involved in wars that ought not to involve us, Elves are nothing but trouble.

3. Considering the events of the past, it shall henceforth be considered strongly advisable for the King of Gondor to leave at least one of his heirs behind when riding into battle, in the interest of securing the succession.

4. Despite Sauron's apparent fall, it is considered practical to keep a close eye on Mordor, to be sure that no foul creature rises to power again, or that, if by some chance Sauron survived his sundering from the Ring of Power, he does not have the opportunity to consolidate his power again in the Dark Lands.

5. The Kings of Gondor should build and maintain a naval fleet, but should not again seek dominion over the lands of Middle-Earth not within the borders of Gondor. The Kings of Atalantë who sought this only antagonized their cousins on the mainland, the aftermath of which is still being felt to this day. They should instead seek alliances with their neighbors to the North, and keep a vigilant eye on the Black Númenoreans to the South, in order to avoid being overrun and conquered.

6. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ENGAGE MAIARIN DARK LORDS IN SINGLE COMBAT. THAT IS A FOOLHARDY PLAN THAT CAN NEVER END WELL. An alternate (in plain language, more prudent) course of action would be first to assemble a squad of skilled archers and have them all fire on the aforementioned Dark Lord at once. If this fails, assemble a hundred of your best knights and have them all attempt to kill the Dark Lord at once. If all else fails, acquire a Mûmak (known in the common language as an Oliphaunt) and have it charge at him. If that fails, pray to the Valar and hope for divine intervention. That is all.


End file.
